Become a Love-creation Teacher

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6. Love Creation

Welcome to stren #57, Love Creation.  This stren offers an unorthodox common sense explanation of the process by which we make mature love.  Mature love is our most important source of the energy we need to assume responsibility of our life experience, the secret to resilience and creating the multiple enthusiasms that sustain our youthful vigor. 

It is the most powerful antidote to helplessness/hopelessness and other negative action paths that threaten our well-being.  In short, mature love is the most worthy universal asset we can attain.     

Your love-creation factory and steps to strengthen it: 

In previous strens, I indicated that mature love is a willing gift.  You have great freedom to generate love and decide where and how you direct it.  You may love continuously, short or long-term, and increase or decrease love in the same manner a factory may increase, decrease, or cease production.  Like any factory, you may even change what is produced.  This stren proposes that you review all the products you create in your energy factory and increase your production capacity for mature love.  Is love among its many skillfully-created products?  What other products can you identify: hate?   jealousy[1]?  worry?  greed?  ideas?  knowledge?  music?  material products?   

Your factory production is determined by a Board of Directors.  It consists of your genes (what worked in the past), your nurturers (what you are expected to want), and yourself (what you assume is wise).  There is a chief executive officer (CEO) of your Board of Directors who has the last word.  The other members of your Board of Directors will be considered in a later stren.  Though you may become CEO of your energy factory’s production, you would be unwise to assume this powerful position without appropriate skill.  Consider your lack of competence when you first came into this world, and the many years nature and your nurturers served as CEO to make you what you are.  Much of the early teachings we receive from instinct and our nurturers not only don’t encourage us to become CEO of our factory, they are persuasive in immobilizing such aspirations – dictators want their perspective to be obeyed and are usually intolerant of new directions, no matter how brilliant. 

You can learn to wisely direct what and how much your factory produces.  This taking charge process has been referred to elsewhere as “becoming our own person.”   We learn from those who have developed such skills, have clarified the resources needed, and may also be worthy role models – that’s what strens are about.  Familiarity with the energy factory within you starts you on your path to becoming CEO of your Board of Directors.  This awareness is essential to inspire you to assume personal responsibility for your life experience.  

You pick which TV station you watch; you may choose to develop a job skill, study a language, or learn to play a musical instrument; AND you have the resources to grow your love-making factory.  Now let’s focus on the love creation portion of your energy factory and consider the process that empowers you to “turn on” your production.  

Mature love is a skill that you may choose to study, learn, and develop.  You have a good start if you have been lucky enough to have been provided loving role models.  Disciplined preparation in love has long been neglected; most people could far better explain how to play bingo than how to create love.  We receive far more instruction in reading, job training, and so much else.  You will likely need to make room in your factory and re-direct some of your attention and energy; i.e., selectively challenge old established habits that don’t get you what you want, and frequently get you what you don’t want.   

            Action begins with a small spark of faith in yourself that initiates, “Yes, I can.”  The ingredients to growing your love creation factory are all available to you.  You already have or can surely acquire these five ingredients:   

1.      Faith in yourself: The tiny spark needed to initiate, “Yes, I think I can.”  Borrow this spark from someone else if you lack it.

2.      Work:  Mental practice that anyone can do; improvement with effort is quite satisfying.

3.      Patience: Many simple self-endorsement techniques that create patience are available for the asking.

4.      Direction: Available free in this collection of wisdoms, self-help books, and role models.

5.      Risk-taking: Willingness to rebel and let go of what once worked, creating factory space. 

Superior intelligence, material wealth, and even good health are not required.  Absolutely zero magic is needed, though the new skills may seem to work magically.  Like any skill, love creation is acquired step-by-step, in bits and pieces, and some bits are acquired prior to mastery of the more advanced pieces.  

The main intent of this stren is to create the awareness that you can create a joyous meaningful life and inspire you to take action.  Begin with the small spark, “Yes, I can,” that is the antidote for the helpless/hopeless response.  Then you can acquire the additional “strengths” or mental skills that grow your love-creation energy.  Each skill is teachable and learnable.  From my own efforts at growing a mature love factory, as well as others’, I have identified many component skills.  The “bits and pieces” that are useful for growing your energy factory emphasize self-endorsement – becoming your own best friend (a very basic skill worthy of your earliest attention!); strengthening faith – the “yes I can” skill, using the near-magical problem-solving sentence; patience; learning from mistakes; acquiring the vocabulary of mature thinking; recognizing and dealing with blaming (resentment, jealousy, destructive aggression); the skill of forgiving; the “reasonable best” measure of your self-worth (avoiding perfectionism); dealing with anxiety; clarifying your values; and ultimately the skill of creating new strens that are most meaningful to you and that may also make a difference as you share them with others.  The strens just identified are picked from a larger collection of wisdoms because they most directly contribute to developing your love creation factory.  They will contribute in other ways to your skill in the management of your life, to feeling good and doing good.  They are more completely identified in stren #58.        

Stimulate your mind with these questions: Terrorists often claim they act for the love of their principles, usually but not always religious.  Do terrorists meet your criteria of love-making?  Where might they fall short?  Why do people become terrorists?  Why do others follow them?

[1]Jealousy may be just behind prejudice as a primary source of destructive aggression.

5. Love and Sex
7. The Skills of Mature Lovers


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