The Secret of Acquiring Patience transcript
Today I want to reveal the secret of creating patience. In the last stren I explained that through our decades of immaturity, instinct and tradition powerfully direct our thinking because they are hard-wired to emotion. They advocate the predetermined, proven solutions that worked for yesterday’s problems. As our intelligent cortex matures, it may recognize outdated behaviors and devise better solutions.
We require patience to imagine alternative solutions, to choose the best one, and to create pathways to reach the preferred future goal. However, intelligence by itself is not sufficiently powerful to overcome emotion. So often, we impulsively do what gives us immediate satisfaction or relieves discomfort even though we clearly recognize it isn’t in our best interests. We require patience to educate ourselves in the wisdoms that free our thinking from dictators and learn to wisely self-manage our creative power. We create patience by equipping intelligence with emotion. The most effective means to attach emotion to intelligence is endorsement.
Now the secret is revealed! The means we use to create patience is self-endorsement. We are dependent on others for survival and for our emotional requirements throughout our immature years. When we “Do as they say” we are rewarded with approval and we avoid punishment. This is why we obey instinct and tradition, the early dictators who establish the way we think during our prolonged immature years. As we attain sufficient physical and mental maturity, we can become our own source of endorsement. Self-endorsement, like patience, is an acquired skill! There are many easy to learn self-endorsement methods.
There you have it! The secret of acquiring sufficient patience to become our own person, is to free ourselves from dictators and assume responsibility for our life’s experience is self-endorsement! Each self-endorsement skill serves as a new word-switch to strengthen our will power. Instinct and tradition are hard-wired to apply yesterday’s solutions to yesterday’s problems. They are not equipped to flexibly apply the common sense problem-solving wisdoms we need to create new solutions to new problems. The outcome is often short term gain at the price of long term pain. Self-endorsement is the means by which we create the immediate emotional reward that frees us from instinct and tradition to pursue long term gain. Self-endorsement skills create the patience to switch a traditional win/lose outcome to a win/win outcome. This is why I have included many easily taught self-endorsement skills in these strens . I urge you to continue to seek additional ones from the many resources available.
I have observed that the common tradition of most nurturers is to teach virtually every useful skill except those having to do with self-endorsement. We are taught a language, a religion, a political ideology, to whom and what we are to owe our allegiance, how to take care of our body, even what to think. Skills in emotional self-endorsement are not only not taught, we are taught not to do so. One person recalled the specific admonition from his mother, “Saying nice things about your self is bragging, egotistical! Praise only counts only if it comes from others.” This is the reason so many individuals go through life as “love junkies,” addicted to others’ approval. They become deeply distressed when approval is not forthcoming.
The self-endorsement methods presented here, along with many readily available elsewhere satisfy our need for immediate reward. They inspire us to pursue the common sense solutions that are necessary for long term benefits.
Nature’s and nurture’s way of thinking become established early, long before we equip our mind to engage in advanced thinking using common sense wisdom. Passively allowing our early way of thinking to prevail has far-reaching consequences. Each of our three masters – instinct, tradition, and common sense (self-mastery) – competes to be our CEO, to determine how our unprecedented new powers will be used. The hard-wired perspectives of instinct and tradition dictate two-category thinking that divides the world into “us” and “not us,” tribalism, old solutions to new problems, and win/lose confrontation. Each tribe, country, religion, political party, and individual can be expected to advocate for their own interests at the expense of non-members.
Our history of wars, killing for one’s “own” God, and relentless pursuit of power, money, and greed are explained by the persistence of our immature either/or thinking. The negative expressions of instinct and tradition are not limited to terrorists and suicide bombers. They include the greed of Wall Street, our corporate leaders, the Madoffs, our immediate neighbors, and most important to recognize, even ourselves. Our very own way of thinking is at issue. We cannot expect to change “those others” until we recognize the persistence of our own either/or way of thinking. Our immediate challenge is to make common sense thinking common within. The negative characteristics of either/or thinking will persist until we make common sense thinking common. Unless we rapidly change our way of thinking, it is only a matter of time before weaker tribes acquire our new weapons of ultimate destruction and confront stronger tribes. The odds are overwhelming that the outcome will be lose/lose. In the worst case, humankind will be extinct within our children’s lifetime. If we confront one another with biological or nuclear weapons, in the best case our world will become so dangerous and damaged that the quality of life will be questionable.
Albert Einstein, among others, has told us our most promising means to survive and thrive as powerful creators. We must teach ourselves a newer way of thinking that emphasizes common sense problem-solving. Common sense is universal. It applies to all tribes and is equally available to all educated minds. It is the basis for both...and thinking that recognizes our similarities, and understands that we are members of one tribe, profess to have one God, and mutually benefit by collaboration that emphasizes our shared interests. Patience is required for mature thinking. Self-endorsement is our means to placate instinct’s and tradition’s need for instant satisfaction and create the patience needed for common sense problem-solving, for short and long term preferred outcomes.
Common sense thinking is the last of our three masters to develop, both historically and individually. Historically, humankind has come a long way in elevating ourselves from our ancestors. Though far from perfect, we have established an enduring, civilized society. On an individual basis, it is quite apparent that instinct is sole master at birth, then tradition gradually dominates instinct. Sometimes they become powerful partners. Our ability to really free ourselves from our early masters does not reach its peak until our late twenties or early thirties. Our most important work-in-progress is popularizing a newer way of thinking that applies universal common sense wisdom to new knowledge. Our generation is the first confronted with a ticking doomsday clock, warning us that we must take urgent action to prevent self-annihilation. We need to “hurry up” growing our patience to popularize Einstein’s solution. We need to selectively replace the problem-solving solutions of instinct and tradition that are dangerous when applied to new knowledge. We have no viable equivalent choice, so let’s not waste time. Become one of the each one, teach one leaders to spread a newer way of thinking and create as many Mental Wealth Millionaires as we can.